Anal intercouse tips

Being in the dark is not doing your sexual health or self-understanding any favors. It's important that we talk about all kinds of sex because not everyone is having, or wants to have, "penis in the vagina" sex. If you do have "penis in the vagina" sex and are curious about something else, or are finding that that type of sex is not for you and you'd just like to explore other options, it's helpful to know the facts. Even if you do learn more and decide anal sex is not a thing you'd like to try, it doesn't hurt to have the information. If you're not comfortable reading about anal sex, that's perfectly OK, too.

A: No butt is meant for sexual penetration. But back to butts. Using lots of anal lube, slip a finger inside your anus, then two, and then three. This allows the sphincter muscles that surround the anus to relax and get used to the feeling of expansion. Breathing deeply also helps. And, of course, the golden rule applies here, as everywhere in bed: There must be consent.

Ah, anal sex. Some would like to ignore that it exists or that people actually do it, while others who chance upon seeking it out, end up either loving it or hating it entirely. But trust us there may very well be a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of it all if you tried seeking it out.

Emma Kaywin, a Brooklyn-based sexual health writer and activist, is here to calm your nerves and answer your questions. Q: My boyfriend has been talking to me about trying anal sex. I'm open to the idea, but I want to know more about it first. Like, do we need to use a condom if we're monogamous, or can I get infections if I don't? How can I make sure it doesn't hurt?